Teacher: Why are you late?
Me: Mate, you're lucky I even showed up so shut up and teach.
oh my god my dad just went out to walk the dog and he must have got halfway down the street and then he just came back and I was like “what’s the matter” and he just said really quietly “i forgot the dog” and my dog was just siTTING BY THE DOORSTEP WITH HIS LEASH ON LOOKING REALLY SAD kOMFGYOD
I just read this out to my grandma and she goes “He forgot the dog? Fucking hell, what’s this world coming to?”
have you ever stopped liking somebody that you liked a lot and suddenly notice that they are a shitty person and realize how blinded you were by how much you liked them
Meeting the idol.
The dog is smiling for fucks sake